Upgrade Your Parenting
In this blog we will be exploring some of the basics to upgrading your parenting. We will review chores, routines, phone and social media, and rewards and punishments.
Parenting Tip: Chores
A Harvard Research study of almost 10,000 people has found a strong connection between doing chores in childhood and future success and happiness. The findings showed that chores help children develop greater self-worth, confidence, strong work ethic, and empathy for others. Researchers found that children who had regular chores had better grades in school, higher self-satisfaction, better manners, and had less conflict with others.
Age-appropriate chores:
Children ages 3-5
Put toys away
Organize books on shelf
Feed pets
Make bed
Water plants
Clean up spills
Children ages 6-9
Fold towels
Put away dishes
Rake leaves
Dust furniture
Clear or set the table
Children ages 10-12
Vacuum
Clean bathrooms
Mow lawn
Bring in the mail
Sweep and mop
Wash dishes
Teens:
Wash windows
Babysit siblings
Take out trash
Wash the car
Make dinner
Trim hedges
Weed yard
Parenting Tip: Routines
Children thrive in routines. They find comfort in knowing what is coming next. Routines can make life predictable and help children feel secure. Families with regular routines have less conflict and healthier communication.
Sample School Night routine for children ages 5-10:
5 pm Come home from school and get a snack
5-6 pm Play outside, ride bikes, play soccer etc.
6 pm Eat dinner with family
6:30 pm Complete homework and organize backpack for the next day
7 pm Free time to play, watch TV or read
7:30 pm Shower and brush teeth
8 pm Bedtime routine: read with parents, tell stories, reflect on the day with parents and kiss good night.
8:30 pm Lights out
Sample School Night routine for children ages 11-15:
5 pm Come home from school and get a snack
5-6 pm Free time outside
6 pm Eat dinner with family
6:30 pm Complete homework and organize backpack for the next day
7 pm Free time to play games, watch TV or read
8:30 pm Shower, brush teeth, and skin care.
9 pm Bedtime routine: turn phone in, lay out clothes for the next day, reflect on the day with parents and kiss good night.
9:30 pm Lights out
Parenting Tip: Phones and Social Media
Bestselling author and social psychologist Jonathan Haidt recommends delaying smartphone access for children until high school and postponing social media access until age 16. This approach aims to reduce negative impacts on mental health by encouraging more unstructured playtime and real-world experiences.
Four Guidelines for a Healthier Childhood:
1. No Smartphones Before High School:
This allows children to experience a more traditional childhood with little access to the internet and social media. Flip phones or phone watches can provide a safe way to communicate with parents.
2. No Social Media Before Age 16:
Postponing social media access until age 16, as these platforms are not designed for children and can have negative mental health consequences.
3. Phone-Free Schools:
Implementing phone-free policies in schools to reduce distractions and encourage face-to-face interactions between students and teachers.
4. More Free Play and Independence:
Unstructured playtime is vital to healthy development during childhood. During play and outdoor activities children can develop their creativity, problem-solving skills, and social abilities.
Parenting Tip: rewards and punishments.
Children make behavioral changes through rewards and punishments.
Ideally parents would use praise and rewards more often than punishments.
Possible rewards for children and teens:
Look for daily opportunities to praise your child
“You did great today when you got home from school by not leaving your backpack on the floor.”
“I noticed you were helping your brother organize his books, good job!”
“Thank you for not talking back today”
“You did great getting up on time this morning.”
Punishment ideas for children and teens:
Loss of privileges such as: no internet/games for day, no TV, no going out, no snack or dessert.
Extra chores such as: wash the car, wash and fold the bathroom towels, pull weeds, sweep & mop, vacuum.
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